Ok, so yea had to have a bit of a recovery day yesterday. Holy i was beyond tired! Drank WAY too much Saturday and was out really late, escorted by my dom friend (for future reference and stories, etc., i've decided to give him a name. His name will be.....hmmmmm......still thinking....want a good one.....Biff!...no, no, um....GOT IT!!! OLIVER!!!!), and was up even later. Oliver didn't get home until after 2:30 am. Lol, sorry, love the name! Ha.
Ok, sorry, back on track....
So Oliver has expressed feelings for me. I struggle greatly with this. Says he needs me, and it some ways i need him too. He is a great friend, takes care of me crazy well, and is here for me physically. But.........my need for Master is much greater. Much, much greater. i did explain this to Oliver, and i really truly hope he understands. i honestly would hate to loose him.
Saturday night went well. i know i said i wanted to wait to comment on Oliver until after Saturday evening. All was good. He escorted me out to a local bar that most of my friends were at. We hung out, i drank too much, and we came back to my place. The rest of the evening was mostly vanilla because i had too much to drink and he wanted to make sure i was safe. i do have some extra marks on my ass, but it certainly wasn't anything that i could not handle. i think he knew too that i would have pushed myself, which is why he stopped - alcohol.
See what happens as time goes on. i think i will most likely be able to express it here because i don't think he reads my blog, and honestly i do need to get it out.
Ok....so relationships. i was thinking vanilla vs. D/s. Vanilla doesn't work for me. i thought why? i think it's because vanilla has always become boring. No excitement, no thrill. But, in a D/s relationship there is a ton of that. i never know what Master will have me do, and i love that. It's very exciting and a lot of the times thrilling. It's a relationship that forces both parties to work at it. It's a requirement, i believe. In a vanilla, none of that requirement is there. You just fall into a pace and that's it. It becomes boring and mundane. Blah! i do know that i can never be in another vanilla relationship again.
The situation i am in now is perfect, for the most part. Oliver knows, and can contact Master any time he needs to, and vice versa. It's good.
Ok, glad i got some things out. i should write more more often. i've been quite lacking lately..........
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